Abide with Me...

Back at the end of July, I went to the Abide conference for youth in Cincinnati. I was asked to help and be a small group leader. I started out thinking, "I'm just a small group leader. What in the world is so monumental about that role?" I wanted to do something bigger. I've been struggling with the fact that I am no longer the youth minister, or person in charge, and that I'm a volunteer. I feel God calling me to lead, but I don't know where or how. There's been a lot on my heart over the summer and even now.

Anyways, I got my list for my small group and I was instantly ecstatic! I knew my kids were into their faith and sharing it.

And you know what? Over the course of the week, they taught me a lot. They taught me it was okay to start off awkward and move to a place where we were good with each other. I wasn't really in charge, God was. Every time I tried to be in charge, nothing went right. When I surrendered, the Holy Spirit flowed.

I got some lessons from Jim Beckman on how to pray over my teens. We were open and honest with each other. I was definitely praying hard for them as we went to talks, out in door-to-door ministry, and at Night Fever. I felt like we found family in each other. By the end of the week, they were calling me Mama Randi, which honestly, I didn't know what to think about at first. Then Bridget said, "It's because you're like our spiritual mom." I melted. How can you not love them and call them yours after that??

My favorite moments of the week were (in no particular order):

1. When we huddled up to pray before going out door-to-door
2. When we had an intense 30-40 minute prayer session at the end of Saturday night
3. Dancing the "Watch Me" dance at the talent show on Friday night
4. Praying over each other
5. Jack's comments
6. Bridget's "It's because you're like our spiritual mom."
7. My talk with Catherine
8. Jim Beckman
9. Evan
10. Andrew taking in depth notes at all the talks
11. Hearing my small group talk about how much more the youth ministry was reaching out to their families.
12. Hanging out with Rhonda
13. Rooming with Michelle
14. Praying over Claire with Zack Hinger and some other teens
15. Seeing my husband Ben when he came for lunch and Night Fever
16. All the priest, seminarians, and religious that were with us all week
17. Mass and Adoration

Rocking Modesty

My friend Mary and I in college.

I started my journey in modesty back in high school. I knew it had to do with covering myself up. I had always felt uncomfortable letting anything hang out, as I was so large chested. I was repeatedly reminded why I needed to cover up, as almost nothing I wore seemed to be modest. It seems like I even had cleavage in a t-shirt!

A quick pic before going to work at J.Crew.

I high school I usually wore jeans or pants, t-shirts, and tennis shoes. I was a tomboy and it was more frumpy than flattering. In college, I loosened up a lot and wore things that revealed my chest. I got a ton of attention, but later grew to hate it. When I met my husband, it seems that I was modest when I wanted to be. My immodesty caused a lot of problems that ended up hurting us in the end.

As I entered the workforce as a youth minister, I was too casual. I wore jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, and flip-flops because I wanted to fit in with the kids. I struggled with being a newlywed and trying to please my husband, and trying to set a good example at church. I had quite a few "fail" moments. I always felt like people didn't take me seriously, that my husband viewed me as an object, and that I was fat.

Stylishly modest at the Country Living Fair, 2014

When I worked for J.Crew after 2 years in ministry, I felt a shift. I no longer felt frumpy, but could put an outfit together. I constantly heard that I looked good. I dressed more modestly and classy too. I saw my weight go down. A year after being at J.Crew I took my next ministry position. I tried to keep up being well-dressed. I did have times that I was in a rut, but overall I was doing pretty well.

A pic of my pixie

2 years into my job, I decided that it was time to change. I was constantly having back pain and I felt immodest just because of my chest. I had a breast reduction right before Christmas and it was the best gift I could have ever given myself. I go rid of so many clothes that caused me to stumble. I felt like I could breathe again.

Since my reduction, I have continued to go deeper in my journey of modest dressing, and have embraced wearing skirts at least 80% of the time. I'd love to wear skirts all of the time, but I'll admit that I'm a bit afraid of it. But I feel so feminine and stylish when I do!

A couple of weekends ago, I went to the Steubenville Youth Conference, a conference I attended as a teen. I've since been taking groups or chaperoning, and this was my 14th time attending the conference. I decided to wear skirts the entire weekend, which is no small feat considering 5 hours in a bus each way, being with teenagers all weekend, and that the campus of Franciscan University is literally uphill both ways. Haha! However, I felt God's peace all weekend, felt carefree, and comfortable. It also made me look like an adult :)

My sister Gail and I

I've also embraced modesty and femininity in other areas of my life. I had a pixie haircut before, which I loved, but I've been growing my hair out over the last year and a half. I've never had hair past my shoulders and my sister asked me last year if I would grown my hair out to her length, which is well past her shoulders. She has super beautiful hair!

I'm all for challenges and have always wanted long hair, just never had the will to keep growing it out. Being broke has helped, as I haven't been able to go to the salon except for one trip to see my lovely friend Meghan Barnes at Bella Rey Salon in Oakley. Totally worth every penny and it helps that Meghan and I are able to chat away the time. I'm looking forward to going back!


My biggest takeaway from my modesty journey has been that I finally feel at peace about myself. I feel like a woman in the truest sense. I'm able to honor my husband more with how I dress. I am dressing nicer, which gains me more respect and clout. I am able to honor God and represent His Church.

Why I Veil

For the next month, I'm going to be giving you my journey on veiling during Mass. I'm also reviewing a veil from Veils by Lily, the Authentic Spanish Camellia Mantilla in Mint. I've never worn a mantilla style before, so I thought this was a great opportunity to give some real feedback.

I started veiling about 2 years ago after feeling God calling me to it. I was really unsure about it, but asked for a veil for Christmas and my step-dad got me one. It helped me stay focused during Mass and enter into prayer fully, where before I found that I was really distracted.

I veil in Mass, Adoration, and for personal prayer sometimes at home. 

It's been a slow change for me. I don't veil all the time because I'm still not in the habit of carrying it with me all the time and some situations I feel like it might be best for me not to. Some of those situations are where I'm doing ministry with youth.

I took these pictures last Sunday after wearing the veil to Mass for the first time. 

My first thought in church was that it got a lot of attention, and I'm usually not the only one veiling at Mass. I'm guessing it was the color. Personally, I think the color is gorgeous, but its more of a light teal than a true mint.

The design is very intricate. I love that it folds easily, even though it's an awkward shape, and doesn't wrinkle. I thought for how delicate it is, I would have to iron/steam it after I got it in the mail.

My husband, Ben, loves that I veil. It really completes the journey I've been on the last 4 years of becoming more modest and more feminine.

My Ministry Venture on Teachers Pay Teachers

I've spent a lot of time in prayer about life and what God is calling me to this year. I think He has some awesome things in store! He keeps confirming again and again what He is leading me to in my personal life and in ministry. I know I'm not in ministry as a paid gig right now, but what He has given me in volunteering far outweighs anything. He has given me countless gifts this year in my friends and those I serve in ministry.

This coming month, I'll be launching a YDisciple group for incoming freshmen girls. We're currently setting dates to meet, and I am so excited for the journey that lies ahead!  I'll share more this summer as time goes on, but God has a plan for this. If He can get us through the scheduling, He can get us through anything!

I've also been working on some new projects this year, and today I want to share one of them with you.

I decided to start sharing some of my ministry resources via Teachers Pay Teachers, a site where teachers/librarians/staff and the like can share their resources for free, or for a small charge.  I was checking it out when it hit me that I had been wanting to share some of mine, so I started looking up what there was to offer for Catholic schools, religious education, and VBS.  Not a ton of offerings, compared to how many listings there are for binder printables LOL!  So I dove in and made an account and listed 9-10 items the first night.  I'm now up to 12, and will be adding more as I wade through all of my files.

Here's my store! Everything is FREE!

My graphics aren't cutting edge and most are editable, but it's FREE.

I am also a lover of Life Teen.  So you'll find some items that are compatible with their ministry platform, but I will not put their name/logo on it, as I don't want to incur any fines for copyright infringement.

Finally, if you'd like customized items, I can do that too. These items are just what I had saved from awhile ago and I have lots more up my sleeve.  Just email me at randihom@gmail.com! 

Why I'd Like to Move

So I mentioned in my last post that I got a new job. (Yay!)

It's actually for the same library I have been working for, just a different branch, and I'll be full-time. So more hours, a bit farther away from home and a lot farther from where I want to be in Cincinnati, and no more $$ per hour. I'm excited because it will be more challenging than my current job, which I find kinda boring since I do not have any special duties like everyone else even though I have asked for more to do. It will be nice to be back at the Middletown location though because I know a lot of people there since I used to work there. I just wish Middletown was in Cincinnati, because that's where I really want to be.

The reason I want to be in Cincinnati is because I'm tired of living in Hamilton cut off from the world. How people live here happily, I do not know. It's too far from everything...even Trenton, OH where I grew up is better. I also long to be closer to St. Gertrude, our parish, in Madeira. Then add in Ben's almost hour commute and I have 3 really good reasons for wanting to be there. But there's more: I have friends that live there and I am itching for more of the city life. I want culture, I want variety, I want something more to life than what I have. I want to drive a Zipcar and use public transit. I want to live in an even smaller place than what we have now LOL! Most importantly, I just want to fulfill the vision and dream Ben and I have had of living in the city. I think it would be awesome to live downtown, but until we hit the lottery, I don't see that happening haha. I'm not a party person, I just want to look out the window and see the people, as they stroll along to their job or take a drink of their coffee.

I think this idea of living in the city is rooted in a deeper longing to belong to the universal Church, and to God Himself. I want to be a part of that crowd following after Jesus! I want to play a part in what He's doing. I already am, but I kind of feel like it's a temporary part that I play on the weekends and then I go home, and take off my stage makeup. I want to be where I'm doing ministry all the time, be amongst the people, and know them. I want to be one of them. It kills me that every Sunday night after Core team meeting is over, we get back in the car and drive the 45 minutes home. My heart says to itself, "I died that day!"* when I wake up on Monday and it's back to the rest of the week. 

And perhaps that's how I felt when I left my last ministry job...despite all of the things that were wrong about the situation and why I needed to leave. I just get so much joy out of being with the youth, teaching them, hanging out with them. I remember how I felt when I heard God call me to youth ministry and I was really unsure if I could do it. Part of me didn't want to, and then I had that feeling again when I failed Catechetics. I was just not cut out for this! However, when I'm away, I realize that I do not feel the joy that God gives me when I am immersed in ministry.

Which is why I told my dear friend Emma, who is one of my former youth group kids, that I wish I was back in ministry again. I miss it so much! I'd rather be doing that than working at the library, and if I didn't have to worry about money, I would do it for free. I'm still waiting on an offer from a parish who is willing to pay off my student loans in 2 years in exchange for youth ministry for 5 years. Or that's one scenario I have in my head LOL! I talk about student loans a lot because I have a ridiculous amount to pay each month. (And if you're thinking of getting student loans, do not go with Sallie Mae!) Such is life I guess.

Well, I'm going to go clip coupons and talk to my hubby Ben before bed. There's always so much to talk about on Sunday nights after we get home from youth group. I guess it begins the dream we have of doing ministry together and we can't seem to get God to stop calling us to it. Maybe that will be the next adventure...


* "I died that day!": a famous line of Buttercup's from Princess Bride that always rings in my head.

Redefining My Life

I have been finding a new identity in Christ and seeing that I am not Randi the youth minister, but Randi the disciple of Christ who is your wife/daughter/sister/friend. So while this may be #tbt, I am taking my life to Christ and redefining who I am...been doing it for awhile and hadn't noticed until recently. #leadmetothecross #amen #newme #ifeelablogpostcomingon

I never realized all the change that would come inside of me after leaving the last parish I worked for. I have been thinking about it for a couple of weeks and I have seen so many things happen. 
1. I have found community at St. Gertrude and in the Youth Ministry Core team where I now volunteer at St. Gertrude. I haven't felt so welcome in a place or in a ministry in all my life. No one is talking about me behind my back, there are no back-stabbing or scheming people, and church politics are not there.
2. My prayer life is expanding...slowly, but what's even better is that now Ben and I can pray together. I can also feel God in my life again and my prayer journaling isn't like pulling teeth.
3. I can be a wife for the first time in my life instead of a dictator of volunteers...which is how I felt when I was stressed out. I feel so much more at ease and loving now.

I still miss being at my old parish because I could tell that I was doing good work there. I miss the teens and the relationships with parishioners. However, Satan was constantly on the attack in many ways and I have to be honest....after awhile, it just got overwhelming. With no support from my staff, I knew I couldn't stay and try to brave it alone. It's so much easier to brace the blows with a team of people who are working alongside of you and my team of volunteers had left the ministry for various reasons. On top of all these things, I had been led on about different aspects of my job and my pastor purposefully avoided me when I sought to talk to him. It was a completely unhealthy working situation. I am sad to admit this, but I have to be honest. This is my blog afterall!

So why have I been redefining myself? Well, many different reasons, but it basically comes down to not being happy with the direction I was headed. I felt like my relationship with God was lacking, that I was too wrapped up in what I did for a living, and that I had become too dependent on "stuff". Since leaving my job last June I have done several things consciously and unconsciously.
1. We've been without a major part of our household income, so we've scaled back A LOT! I haven't shopped for myself in over 6 months, and other than a couple of gifts for Christmas, we have not really bought anything for our house/each other/etc. Our meals have become cheaper, we eat out much less, and to conserve food we don't snack between meals a lot. We've made it by the grace of God, and some generous people. It's only this week, after I got the news last week that I will be starting a full-time job (yay!), that we've had to reach out to St. Vincent de Paul to get food.
2. We've sold a lot of items to make money and gotten rid of clutter by the bag full to Goodwill. All we have left is to go through our basement storage room. We haven't bought any new clothes in the last 6 months. We've also been forced to return some items because we couldn't make the payments. That is very humbling! I've also given away some of my ministry stuff to friends who are also in youth ministry and to the library I work at. It made my day seeing the joy on their faces!
3. I've started wearing more skirts and dresses. I dress a lot more feminine and modest, and in turn, people have treated me a lot differently. That's been a big deal to me, as I've been desiring to change my outward appearance to match what was inside my heart. I follow lots of modest Instagram accounts like: @lauren_modernmodesty, @modestcatholicgirls, @modestlychics_, and @daintyjewells. I like the inspiration and it spills over to my Pinterest account: https://www.pinterest.com/randi_hom/
4. I wanted to keep doing ministry and my heart is for youth ministry. So I started volunteering at St. Gertrude with the youth and it has changed me in many ways. I see ministry in a different light now, it's back to something I love to do and I jump at the chance to do God's work. Ben and I have been discerning what God wants of us and have seen how He has given us a missionary heart.

 There are a lot of things that God is doing in our lives right now. I'd love to share, but I'd rather wait until more things are confirmed in prayer or by action. Until the next time, see you in the Eucharist!

Friday the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th...

And honestly even though I'm not superstitious, today has felt a bit off.  Maybe it's just this week, no it's definitely been the last couple weeks.

I've been struggling with finding a job.  I feel like I'm running out of places to apply.  People keep rejecting me.

"You're over-qualified."
"You're under-qualified."
"We found someone who also had experience in another area, so we hired them for both positions."
"We hired this GUY."
*crickets*
"Why don't you apply for this position?" ...then *crickets*

I bet they are laughing it up right now

It's gotten a bit ridiculous and honestly I need a full time job insanely bad.  I have bills to pay people!

On the upside, I have all this time to spend at home working on different projects, volunteering at church, and helping my family.  And Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram.  I'd love if someone offered me a job as a creative director or doing something fabulous that doesn't require a master's degree and sacrificing my left leg.  I can do so many things if only I was given a chance.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow and I'm thankful that I have the chance to speak to the St. Ann and Child Mary Guild in the morning.  I'm excited to talk about Mother Teresa, her love of Jesus in the Eucharist, and the Heart of a Servant!   

It's beginning to look a lot like Advent

Today is the first Sunday of Advent.  We went to Mass at St. Max and I saw the purple swags in the windows, and the huge Advent wreath up front...I love Advent season!  This is a time to reflect on Christ's coming and prepare our hearts.  

Today's Gospel is from Mark 13:33-37
Jesus said to his disciples:
“Be watchful! Be alert!
You do not know when the time will come.
It is like a man traveling abroad.
He leaves home and places his servants in charge,
each with his own work,
and orders the gatekeeper to be on the watch.
Watch, therefore;
you do not know when the Lord of the house is coming,
whether in the evening, or at midnight,
or at cockcrow, or in the morning.
May he not come suddenly and find you sleeping.
What I say to you, I say to all: ‘Watch!’”

It reminded me about tonight's upcoming youth night at St. Gertrude, where we are going to be discussing priorities and "seeking first the Kingdom".  Mark's Gospel fits in so well, telling us to "Be alert!"  How can we have priorities if we are not alert and aware of what God's plan for us is?  Today I am thankful that God is so merciful and allows second chances!

Also, since today is the first Sunday of Advent, I thought I would share an update of some of the resources I shared on my old blog.

First of all, please check out my Pinterest boards below.

1.  Religious Education Advent Ideas
2.  Youth Ministry Advent/Christmas Ideas

2.  Advent and Christmas Ideas for the Home

For those in ministry check out this video from a webinar I attended by Ave Maria Press:
O Radiant Dawn: Ministering to Families (And Yourself) This Advent Season
There's tons more videos to check out there too!

More Advent Resources (coloring pages, lessons, etc.):  
CatholicMom: Advent
12 Tips to Holier Advent Season

My Recommendations for Great Advent Guides:
For Youth Ministry:  Life Teen Advent Companion
For Ebook:  Magnificat Advent Companion

Projects to get Dad involved:
Make and Advent Wreath using power tools
Outdoor Nativity Scenes with lights
Lego also makes Advent Calendars!

Shows to Watch: CatholicTV: Advent

Where to Shop for Advent/Christmas Gifts: Faithful Findz

Something I read

You know how something on Facebook can jump out at you and be really profound when you read it, but you easily forget it?

I have been a victim of that before until recently.  Then I read my friend Natalie's post about her husband instilling in his daughters this message:

To be honest, just as the writing in green says, it's what I needed to hear after all this time.  My dad never told me these things.  He never instilled in us the message that we were precious, beautiful, that he loved us, or that we were made in the image and likeness of God.  That's enough to make a girl feel incomplete for the rest of her life!  But I have been learning all these things slowly from different sources now that I am an adult.  It's funny how hearing them can reduce me to tears all over again.  How writing this can reduce me to tears.

I wish every man knew the difference he could make if he just genuinely loved his daughters, wife, or significant other.  To love them as Christ loves us.  To live out the fact that he is made in the image and likeness of God.  What a different world this would be!