Rocking Modesty

My friend Mary and I in college.

I started my journey in modesty back in high school. I knew it had to do with covering myself up. I had always felt uncomfortable letting anything hang out, as I was so large chested. I was repeatedly reminded why I needed to cover up, as almost nothing I wore seemed to be modest. It seems like I even had cleavage in a t-shirt!

A quick pic before going to work at J.Crew.

I high school I usually wore jeans or pants, t-shirts, and tennis shoes. I was a tomboy and it was more frumpy than flattering. In college, I loosened up a lot and wore things that revealed my chest. I got a ton of attention, but later grew to hate it. When I met my husband, it seems that I was modest when I wanted to be. My immodesty caused a lot of problems that ended up hurting us in the end.

As I entered the workforce as a youth minister, I was too casual. I wore jeans, t-shirts, hoodies, and flip-flops because I wanted to fit in with the kids. I struggled with being a newlywed and trying to please my husband, and trying to set a good example at church. I had quite a few "fail" moments. I always felt like people didn't take me seriously, that my husband viewed me as an object, and that I was fat.

Stylishly modest at the Country Living Fair, 2014

When I worked for J.Crew after 2 years in ministry, I felt a shift. I no longer felt frumpy, but could put an outfit together. I constantly heard that I looked good. I dressed more modestly and classy too. I saw my weight go down. A year after being at J.Crew I took my next ministry position. I tried to keep up being well-dressed. I did have times that I was in a rut, but overall I was doing pretty well.

A pic of my pixie

2 years into my job, I decided that it was time to change. I was constantly having back pain and I felt immodest just because of my chest. I had a breast reduction right before Christmas and it was the best gift I could have ever given myself. I go rid of so many clothes that caused me to stumble. I felt like I could breathe again.

Since my reduction, I have continued to go deeper in my journey of modest dressing, and have embraced wearing skirts at least 80% of the time. I'd love to wear skirts all of the time, but I'll admit that I'm a bit afraid of it. But I feel so feminine and stylish when I do!

A couple of weekends ago, I went to the Steubenville Youth Conference, a conference I attended as a teen. I've since been taking groups or chaperoning, and this was my 14th time attending the conference. I decided to wear skirts the entire weekend, which is no small feat considering 5 hours in a bus each way, being with teenagers all weekend, and that the campus of Franciscan University is literally uphill both ways. Haha! However, I felt God's peace all weekend, felt carefree, and comfortable. It also made me look like an adult :)

My sister Gail and I

I've also embraced modesty and femininity in other areas of my life. I had a pixie haircut before, which I loved, but I've been growing my hair out over the last year and a half. I've never had hair past my shoulders and my sister asked me last year if I would grown my hair out to her length, which is well past her shoulders. She has super beautiful hair!

I'm all for challenges and have always wanted long hair, just never had the will to keep growing it out. Being broke has helped, as I haven't been able to go to the salon except for one trip to see my lovely friend Meghan Barnes at Bella Rey Salon in Oakley. Totally worth every penny and it helps that Meghan and I are able to chat away the time. I'm looking forward to going back!


My biggest takeaway from my modesty journey has been that I finally feel at peace about myself. I feel like a woman in the truest sense. I'm able to honor my husband more with how I dress. I am dressing nicer, which gains me more respect and clout. I am able to honor God and represent His Church.

Why I Veil

For the next month, I'm going to be giving you my journey on veiling during Mass. I'm also reviewing a veil from Veils by Lily, the Authentic Spanish Camellia Mantilla in Mint. I've never worn a mantilla style before, so I thought this was a great opportunity to give some real feedback.

I started veiling about 2 years ago after feeling God calling me to it. I was really unsure about it, but asked for a veil for Christmas and my step-dad got me one. It helped me stay focused during Mass and enter into prayer fully, where before I found that I was really distracted.

I veil in Mass, Adoration, and for personal prayer sometimes at home. 

It's been a slow change for me. I don't veil all the time because I'm still not in the habit of carrying it with me all the time and some situations I feel like it might be best for me not to. Some of those situations are where I'm doing ministry with youth.

I took these pictures last Sunday after wearing the veil to Mass for the first time. 

My first thought in church was that it got a lot of attention, and I'm usually not the only one veiling at Mass. I'm guessing it was the color. Personally, I think the color is gorgeous, but its more of a light teal than a true mint.

The design is very intricate. I love that it folds easily, even though it's an awkward shape, and doesn't wrinkle. I thought for how delicate it is, I would have to iron/steam it after I got it in the mail.

My husband, Ben, loves that I veil. It really completes the journey I've been on the last 4 years of becoming more modest and more feminine.

SOS....it's ASOS to the rescue for us plus sized ladies!

Hey ladies,

I'm sure there are many of you out there who are plus sized and looking for modest dresses. If you're like me, you want something that comes to the knee or longer, has a sleeve or you can easily wear a cardigan with, and will go from work to church and then some! Sometimes they are hard to find, but I'm here to help!

I've selected my favorite dresses from ASOS's Curve collection that are under $100. I hope they will help those of you looking for something size 14-24 that is modest and reasonably priced. I also picked ones that were in stock for a majority of the sizes, because it's just depressing to get to the page and realize they don't have your size. Am I right? I also tried to pick a variety of styles.

Have fun shopping ladies!

ASOS CURVE Dress In Grid Print $51

ASOS CURVE Body-Conscious Midi Dress in Abstract Check Print $45

ASOS CURVE Midi Body-Conscious Dress In Rib $40

ASOS CURVE Maxi Dress In Floral Print $99

ASOS CURVE Body-Conscious Dress In Lily Print $54

ASOS CURVE T-Shirt Dress In Stripe In Longer Length $45

ASOS CURVE Midi Dress In Floral Rib $57

ASOS CURVE Midi Dress In Border Floral Print With Double Layer $31

ASOS CURVE Rose Print Scuba Body-Conscious Dress $81

ASOS CURVE The T-Shirt Dress $40

*This post is in no way sponsored by ASOS and I did not receive any compensation.

Redefining My Life

I have been finding a new identity in Christ and seeing that I am not Randi the youth minister, but Randi the disciple of Christ who is your wife/daughter/sister/friend. So while this may be #tbt, I am taking my life to Christ and redefining who I am...been doing it for awhile and hadn't noticed until recently. #leadmetothecross #amen #newme #ifeelablogpostcomingon

I never realized all the change that would come inside of me after leaving the last parish I worked for. I have been thinking about it for a couple of weeks and I have seen so many things happen. 
1. I have found community at St. Gertrude and in the Youth Ministry Core team where I now volunteer at St. Gertrude. I haven't felt so welcome in a place or in a ministry in all my life. No one is talking about me behind my back, there are no back-stabbing or scheming people, and church politics are not there.
2. My prayer life is expanding...slowly, but what's even better is that now Ben and I can pray together. I can also feel God in my life again and my prayer journaling isn't like pulling teeth.
3. I can be a wife for the first time in my life instead of a dictator of volunteers...which is how I felt when I was stressed out. I feel so much more at ease and loving now.

I still miss being at my old parish because I could tell that I was doing good work there. I miss the teens and the relationships with parishioners. However, Satan was constantly on the attack in many ways and I have to be honest....after awhile, it just got overwhelming. With no support from my staff, I knew I couldn't stay and try to brave it alone. It's so much easier to brace the blows with a team of people who are working alongside of you and my team of volunteers had left the ministry for various reasons. On top of all these things, I had been led on about different aspects of my job and my pastor purposefully avoided me when I sought to talk to him. It was a completely unhealthy working situation. I am sad to admit this, but I have to be honest. This is my blog afterall!

So why have I been redefining myself? Well, many different reasons, but it basically comes down to not being happy with the direction I was headed. I felt like my relationship with God was lacking, that I was too wrapped up in what I did for a living, and that I had become too dependent on "stuff". Since leaving my job last June I have done several things consciously and unconsciously.
1. We've been without a major part of our household income, so we've scaled back A LOT! I haven't shopped for myself in over 6 months, and other than a couple of gifts for Christmas, we have not really bought anything for our house/each other/etc. Our meals have become cheaper, we eat out much less, and to conserve food we don't snack between meals a lot. We've made it by the grace of God, and some generous people. It's only this week, after I got the news last week that I will be starting a full-time job (yay!), that we've had to reach out to St. Vincent de Paul to get food.
2. We've sold a lot of items to make money and gotten rid of clutter by the bag full to Goodwill. All we have left is to go through our basement storage room. We haven't bought any new clothes in the last 6 months. We've also been forced to return some items because we couldn't make the payments. That is very humbling! I've also given away some of my ministry stuff to friends who are also in youth ministry and to the library I work at. It made my day seeing the joy on their faces!
3. I've started wearing more skirts and dresses. I dress a lot more feminine and modest, and in turn, people have treated me a lot differently. That's been a big deal to me, as I've been desiring to change my outward appearance to match what was inside my heart. I follow lots of modest Instagram accounts like: @lauren_modernmodesty, @modestcatholicgirls, @modestlychics_, and @daintyjewells. I like the inspiration and it spills over to my Pinterest account: https://www.pinterest.com/randi_hom/
4. I wanted to keep doing ministry and my heart is for youth ministry. So I started volunteering at St. Gertrude with the youth and it has changed me in many ways. I see ministry in a different light now, it's back to something I love to do and I jump at the chance to do God's work. Ben and I have been discerning what God wants of us and have seen how He has given us a missionary heart.

 There are a lot of things that God is doing in our lives right now. I'd love to share, but I'd rather wait until more things are confirmed in prayer or by action. Until the next time, see you in the Eucharist!