From the Mouth of My Babe

*Today I had an awesome conversation with my husband, Ben.  He revealed a lot about me that I thought would be great to share and give you a glimpse of *me*.

Ben:  You know me like nobody else does, and even through everything, you still love me.  You're smart, you're funny.  You're the only one that I have felt has genuinely cared about me.  You like to tickle me...and even though I act like I don't like it, I do.  You have beautiful eyes, you have the most perfect breasts, and I feel like I can talk to you about anything.  I like your freckles...I don't like them, I love them.

You don't take shit from nobody, you put God before me and I'm okay with it, although some people might not be okay with that, but I'm not just some man.  You love me unconditionally, even though I think I'm ugly, fat, balding, and repulsive.  And I fart a lot.  And smell.  I'm like George Constanza.

Sometimes you let things get to you, but in all essence, you don't let it get to you.  We can talk about what's bothering you and somehow we always work out a resolution.  We can make it through anything considering the first years we were married.  You're very true to yourself, you don't go back on your word.  If you do, you have a damn good reason why...but that hardly ever happens.  You're a strong, loving, caring, gentle woman that knows how to serve others.  No matter what they are facing, you know how to talk to them on a personal level.  Like today, that guy had just chewed me out when I called you.  Do you know why I called you?  Because I knew you would be able to calm me down.

You love your faith and you know a lot about it.  You're a God-fearing woman.  You know that you're loved by Him.  Don't get mad...your temper is one thing that I love because for a couple reasons: I love it when you get mad about things you're passionate for because it shows what you really care about...and when you get mad about something, you keep it pretty contained.  You will spout off at home, but in public you keep it quiet.  You're a true Italian with your temper, just not so loud.

You can be ambitious about certain things.  I think you're ambitious about still trying to save this youth group, but will it work?  I don't know.  You have great dreams of blogging, of decorating, being healthy (he tears up) of being a mom, because you'd be a great one.  I'm over here like a sixteen year old girl balling...and I'm a 31 year old bald, bearded dude.  Can I have a kleenex please?

Sometimes I don't know how to explain my love to you...sometimes when I'm with you or holding you, I feel such great emotion, that I feel like I'm floating and that our hearts are connected.  When I think of our first months together, I never knew what true love was and I was crazy about you, and I still am.  I have butterflies in my stomach when I think about you.  Have we left the honeymoon stage yet?  I really don't know.

You are persistent to a T.  As of right now with patience, I know it must be driving you crazy to find out what is going to happen.  Right now you seem so calm...to you I don't think it gets to you as much as some others.  It would drive some people to drink, and you're just hanging in there.

Courage for you, you have the courage of a lion.  You tell people exactly how it is with your faith.  You know what's right from wrong.  You had a lot of courage to get over your mom and dad's divorce...I know it affected you a lot more...and it took a lot of courage to jump over those barriers.  And to move on from Donnie too.  Also, even though your family was against it, you had the courage to go to school for what God was calling you for.  Everything goes back to your faith.  You have the courage to stand up for what you believe in.

I love how he is so honest with me...and gets me thinking about all the great things about myself and my life, what God has given me.  It makes me realize I truly am blessed.  But what's more is that it makes me realize all the dreams I have that I want to fulfill, and that I have a kick-ass bearded man by my side to walk with me through it.  This is what makes our marriage like the Sacrament of the Eucharist.  We don't want to keep all these wonderful gifts God has given us to ourselves, but we want to share them with those we know and those we don't know.  This is why I've come to recognize that I need to tell you my story....so where shall I begin?

*Disclaimer: This is a repost from my old blog. I just love what it says about my husband Ben and I, so I shared it again.

An ode to spiritual motherhood

Today is an important day. It's Mother's Day. We all have a birth mother, whether she was present or is present in our lives or not. Some of us have adoptive mothers, some of us have step-mothers, and we all have grandmothers.

But not all of us will be mothers.
Not all of us can be mothers.
Not all of us are mothers.
This post is for you and for those around you.

Not all of us can get pregnant. We chart our hearts away and pee on a stick hundreds of times a year.
Not all of us will give birth or can give birth, and not all of us will be able to adopt.
There are many reasons for why. It seems cruel to list them all.
It seems that many people struggle on how to approach a woman in these situations. There are hurtful comments and unwelcome advice is given. Some women who are able to have children pass judgement. There are people who spread rumors that you use birth control. Trust me, I've been there.
What is really needed is love.

Love the women that lost their child during pregnancy. They are still a mother.
Love the women who lose their child after they are born. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.
Love the women who struggle through fertility treatments. The efforts they make are very courageous.
Love the women who have come to terms that they will not be able to have children. What a cross!
Love the women who are seeking to adopt. They will need your support.
Love the women who are not able to adopt. Their situation is heartbreaking.

We need to show these women how valuable they are as daughters of God and what a difference they make in our lives. Remind them of their great worth to our heavenly Father and what plans He must have for them. Help them to be good wives and to go to God in prayer through everything they face. Invite them out for a drink and don't talk about kids. Show them compassion.

Personally, in my journey with infertility I have found so much value when people tell me what a blessing I am and how I can serve Christ and His Church. It gave me purpose when I felt like less than a woman, when I felt like I didn't measure up to what society told me I needed to be. Thank God I listened! I know that it is such a blessing to be able to spend my time working for the Church and taking care of the youth. It's like being a grandma, an aunt, and a mother all in one! I am a spiritual mom, one who can pray for the children and youth, who can pass on the truths of the faith, and be there for them. I can put my motherly and womanly instincts to work.

So I would say, tell the women in your life who are struggling in this area how much you love them. Don't treat them differently than your friends who can have children or who do have children. Invite them to baby showers even if they don't come, because they know when they are left out. Tell them what great spiritual mothers they are. Invite them to be a Godmother to one of your children. Tell them they are not alone and hug them. Help them encounter Christ. Give them a reason to believe in God's plan for their life. Because we don't have to become a mother to know that God has a plan and purpose for us. We are beautiful women that God has chosen.

I'd like to thank my mother and grandmother for the beautiful witness they have been to me the last 7 years as I have struggled through infertility. They have been so supportive and a shoulder to cry on. I never felt like I didn't measure up. A special thanks to my husband too, as he has been my #1 supporter through it all. Lord, thank you for this cross. Without it, I wouldn't know the depth of your love.

Something I read

You know how something on Facebook can jump out at you and be really profound when you read it, but you easily forget it?

I have been a victim of that before until recently.  Then I read my friend Natalie's post about her husband instilling in his daughters this message:

To be honest, just as the writing in green says, it's what I needed to hear after all this time.  My dad never told me these things.  He never instilled in us the message that we were precious, beautiful, that he loved us, or that we were made in the image and likeness of God.  That's enough to make a girl feel incomplete for the rest of her life!  But I have been learning all these things slowly from different sources now that I am an adult.  It's funny how hearing them can reduce me to tears all over again.  How writing this can reduce me to tears.

I wish every man knew the difference he could make if he just genuinely loved his daughters, wife, or significant other.  To love them as Christ loves us.  To live out the fact that he is made in the image and likeness of God.  What a different world this would be!