I have been finding a new identity in Christ and seeing that I am not Randi the youth minister, but Randi the disciple of Christ who is your wife/daughter/sister/friend. So while this may be #tbt, I am taking my life to Christ and redefining who I am...been doing it for awhile and hadn't noticed until recently. #leadmetothecross #amen #newme #ifeelablogpostcomingon
I never realized all the change that would come inside of me after leaving the last parish I worked for. I have been thinking about it for a couple of weeks and I have seen so many things happen.
1. I have found community at St. Gertrude and in the Youth Ministry Core team where I now volunteer at St. Gertrude. I haven't felt so welcome in a place or in a ministry in all my life. No one is talking about me behind my back, there are no back-stabbing or scheming people, and church politics are not there.
2. My prayer life is expanding...slowly, but what's even better is that now Ben and I can pray together. I can also feel God in my life again and my prayer journaling isn't like pulling teeth.
3. I can be a wife for the first time in my life instead of a dictator of volunteers...which is how I felt when I was stressed out. I feel so much more at ease and loving now.
I still miss being at my old parish because I could tell that I was doing good work there. I miss the teens and the relationships with parishioners. However, Satan was constantly on the attack in many ways and I have to be honest....after awhile, it just got overwhelming. With no support from my staff, I knew I couldn't stay and try to brave it alone. It's so much easier to brace the blows with a team of people who are working alongside of you and my team of volunteers had left the ministry for various reasons. On top of all these things, I had been led on about different aspects of my job and my pastor purposefully avoided me when I sought to talk to him. It was a completely unhealthy working situation. I am sad to admit this, but I have to be honest. This is my blog afterall!
So why have I been redefining myself? Well, many different reasons, but it basically comes down to not being happy with the direction I was headed. I felt like my relationship with God was lacking, that I was too wrapped up in what I did for a living, and that I had become too dependent on "stuff". Since leaving my job last June I have done several things consciously and unconsciously.
1. We've been without a major part of our household income, so we've scaled back A LOT! I haven't shopped for myself in over 6 months, and other than a couple of gifts for Christmas, we have not really bought anything for our house/each other/etc. Our meals have become cheaper, we eat out much less, and to conserve food we don't snack between meals a lot. We've made it by the grace of God, and some generous people. It's only this week, after I got the news last week that I will be starting a full-time job (yay!), that we've had to reach out to St. Vincent de Paul to get food.
2. We've sold a lot of items to make money and gotten rid of clutter by the bag full to Goodwill. All we have left is to go through our basement storage room. We haven't bought any new clothes in the last 6 months. We've also been forced to return some items because we couldn't make the payments. That is very humbling! I've also given away some of my ministry stuff to friends who are also in youth ministry and to the library I work at. It made my day seeing the joy on their faces!
3. I've started wearing more skirts and dresses. I dress a lot more feminine and modest, and in turn, people have treated me a lot differently. That's been a big deal to me, as I've been desiring to change my outward appearance to match what was inside my heart. I follow lots of modest Instagram accounts like: @lauren_modernmodesty, @modestcatholicgirls, @modestlychics_, and @daintyjewells. I like the inspiration and it spills over to my Pinterest account: https://www.pinterest.com/randi_hom/
4. I wanted to keep doing ministry and my heart is for youth ministry. So I started volunteering at St. Gertrude with the youth and it has changed me in many ways. I see ministry in a different light now, it's back to something I love to do and I jump at the chance to do God's work. Ben and I have been discerning what God wants of us and have seen how He has given us a missionary heart.
There are a lot of things that God is doing in our lives right now. I'd love to share, but I'd rather wait until more things are confirmed in prayer or by action. Until the next time, see you in the Eucharist!
I never realized all the change that would come inside of me after leaving the last parish I worked for. I have been thinking about it for a couple of weeks and I have seen so many things happen.
1. I have found community at St. Gertrude and in the Youth Ministry Core team where I now volunteer at St. Gertrude. I haven't felt so welcome in a place or in a ministry in all my life. No one is talking about me behind my back, there are no back-stabbing or scheming people, and church politics are not there.
2. My prayer life is expanding...slowly, but what's even better is that now Ben and I can pray together. I can also feel God in my life again and my prayer journaling isn't like pulling teeth.
3. I can be a wife for the first time in my life instead of a dictator of volunteers...which is how I felt when I was stressed out. I feel so much more at ease and loving now.
I still miss being at my old parish because I could tell that I was doing good work there. I miss the teens and the relationships with parishioners. However, Satan was constantly on the attack in many ways and I have to be honest....after awhile, it just got overwhelming. With no support from my staff, I knew I couldn't stay and try to brave it alone. It's so much easier to brace the blows with a team of people who are working alongside of you and my team of volunteers had left the ministry for various reasons. On top of all these things, I had been led on about different aspects of my job and my pastor purposefully avoided me when I sought to talk to him. It was a completely unhealthy working situation. I am sad to admit this, but I have to be honest. This is my blog afterall!
So why have I been redefining myself? Well, many different reasons, but it basically comes down to not being happy with the direction I was headed. I felt like my relationship with God was lacking, that I was too wrapped up in what I did for a living, and that I had become too dependent on "stuff". Since leaving my job last June I have done several things consciously and unconsciously.
1. We've been without a major part of our household income, so we've scaled back A LOT! I haven't shopped for myself in over 6 months, and other than a couple of gifts for Christmas, we have not really bought anything for our house/each other/etc. Our meals have become cheaper, we eat out much less, and to conserve food we don't snack between meals a lot. We've made it by the grace of God, and some generous people. It's only this week, after I got the news last week that I will be starting a full-time job (yay!), that we've had to reach out to St. Vincent de Paul to get food.
2. We've sold a lot of items to make money and gotten rid of clutter by the bag full to Goodwill. All we have left is to go through our basement storage room. We haven't bought any new clothes in the last 6 months. We've also been forced to return some items because we couldn't make the payments. That is very humbling! I've also given away some of my ministry stuff to friends who are also in youth ministry and to the library I work at. It made my day seeing the joy on their faces!
3. I've started wearing more skirts and dresses. I dress a lot more feminine and modest, and in turn, people have treated me a lot differently. That's been a big deal to me, as I've been desiring to change my outward appearance to match what was inside my heart. I follow lots of modest Instagram accounts like: @lauren_modernmodesty, @modestcatholicgirls, @modestlychics_, and @daintyjewells. I like the inspiration and it spills over to my Pinterest account: https://www.pinterest.com/randi_hom/
4. I wanted to keep doing ministry and my heart is for youth ministry. So I started volunteering at St. Gertrude with the youth and it has changed me in many ways. I see ministry in a different light now, it's back to something I love to do and I jump at the chance to do God's work. Ben and I have been discerning what God wants of us and have seen how He has given us a missionary heart.
There are a lot of things that God is doing in our lives right now. I'd love to share, but I'd rather wait until more things are confirmed in prayer or by action. Until the next time, see you in the Eucharist!
