Today is an important day. It's Mother's Day. We all have a birth mother, whether she was present or is present in our lives or not. Some of us have adoptive mothers, some of us have step-mothers, and we all have grandmothers.
But not all of us will be mothers.
Not all of us can be mothers.
Not all of us are mothers.
This post is for you and for those around you.
Not all of us can get pregnant. We chart our hearts away and pee on a stick hundreds of times a year.
Not all of us will give birth or can give birth, and not all of us will be able to adopt.
There are many reasons for why. It seems cruel to list them all.
It seems that many people struggle on how to approach a woman in these situations. There are hurtful comments and unwelcome advice is given. Some women who are able to have children pass judgement. There are people who spread rumors that you use birth control. Trust me, I've been there.
What is really needed is love.
Love the women that lost their child during pregnancy. They are still a mother.
Love the women who lose their child after they are born. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.
Love the women who struggle through fertility treatments. The efforts they make are very courageous.
Love the women who have come to terms that they will not be able to have children. What a cross!
Love the women who are seeking to adopt. They will need your support.
Love the women who are not able to adopt. Their situation is heartbreaking.
We need to show these women how valuable they are as daughters of God and what a difference they make in our lives. Remind them of their great worth to our heavenly Father and what plans He must have for them. Help them to be good wives and to go to God in prayer through everything they face. Invite them out for a drink and don't talk about kids. Show them compassion.
Personally, in my journey with infertility I have found so much value when people tell me what a blessing I am and how I can serve Christ and His Church. It gave me purpose when I felt like less than a woman, when I felt like I didn't measure up to what society told me I needed to be. Thank God I listened! I know that it is such a blessing to be able to spend my time working for the Church and taking care of the youth. It's like being a grandma, an aunt, and a mother all in one! I am a spiritual mom, one who can pray for the children and youth, who can pass on the truths of the faith, and be there for them. I can put my motherly and womanly instincts to work.
So I would say, tell the women in your life who are struggling in this area how much you love them. Don't treat them differently than your friends who can have children or who do have children. Invite them to baby showers even if they don't come, because they know when they are left out. Tell them what great spiritual mothers they are. Invite them to be a Godmother to one of your children. Tell them they are not alone and hug them. Help them encounter Christ. Give them a reason to believe in God's plan for their life. Because we don't have to become a mother to know that God has a plan and purpose for us. We are beautiful women that God has chosen.
I'd like to thank my mother and grandmother for the beautiful witness they have been to me the last 7 years as I have struggled through infertility. They have been so supportive and a shoulder to cry on. I never felt like I didn't measure up. A special thanks to my husband too, as he has been my #1 supporter through it all. Lord, thank you for this cross. Without it, I wouldn't know the depth of your love.
But not all of us will be mothers.
Not all of us can be mothers.
Not all of us are mothers.
This post is for you and for those around you.
Not all of us can get pregnant. We chart our hearts away and pee on a stick hundreds of times a year.
Not all of us will give birth or can give birth, and not all of us will be able to adopt.
There are many reasons for why. It seems cruel to list them all.
It seems that many people struggle on how to approach a woman in these situations. There are hurtful comments and unwelcome advice is given. Some women who are able to have children pass judgement. There are people who spread rumors that you use birth control. Trust me, I've been there.
What is really needed is love.
Love the women that lost their child during pregnancy. They are still a mother.
Love the women who lose their child after they are born. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.
Love the women who struggle through fertility treatments. The efforts they make are very courageous.
Love the women who have come to terms that they will not be able to have children. What a cross!
Love the women who are seeking to adopt. They will need your support.
Love the women who are not able to adopt. Their situation is heartbreaking.
We need to show these women how valuable they are as daughters of God and what a difference they make in our lives. Remind them of their great worth to our heavenly Father and what plans He must have for them. Help them to be good wives and to go to God in prayer through everything they face. Invite them out for a drink and don't talk about kids. Show them compassion.
Personally, in my journey with infertility I have found so much value when people tell me what a blessing I am and how I can serve Christ and His Church. It gave me purpose when I felt like less than a woman, when I felt like I didn't measure up to what society told me I needed to be. Thank God I listened! I know that it is such a blessing to be able to spend my time working for the Church and taking care of the youth. It's like being a grandma, an aunt, and a mother all in one! I am a spiritual mom, one who can pray for the children and youth, who can pass on the truths of the faith, and be there for them. I can put my motherly and womanly instincts to work.
So I would say, tell the women in your life who are struggling in this area how much you love them. Don't treat them differently than your friends who can have children or who do have children. Invite them to baby showers even if they don't come, because they know when they are left out. Tell them what great spiritual mothers they are. Invite them to be a Godmother to one of your children. Tell them they are not alone and hug them. Help them encounter Christ. Give them a reason to believe in God's plan for their life. Because we don't have to become a mother to know that God has a plan and purpose for us. We are beautiful women that God has chosen.
I'd like to thank my mother and grandmother for the beautiful witness they have been to me the last 7 years as I have struggled through infertility. They have been so supportive and a shoulder to cry on. I never felt like I didn't measure up. A special thanks to my husband too, as he has been my #1 supporter through it all. Lord, thank you for this cross. Without it, I wouldn't know the depth of your love.
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