So I mentioned in my last post that I got a new job. (Yay!)
It's actually for the same library I have been working for, just a different branch, and I'll be full-time. So more hours, a bit farther away from home and a lot farther from where I want to be in Cincinnati, and no more $$ per hour. I'm excited because it will be more challenging than my current job, which I find kinda boring since I do not have any special duties like everyone else even though I have asked for more to do. It will be nice to be back at the Middletown location though because I know a lot of people there since I used to work there. I just wish Middletown was in Cincinnati, because that's where I really want to be.
The reason I want to be in Cincinnati is because I'm tired of living in Hamilton cut off from the world. How people live here happily, I do not know. It's too far from everything...even Trenton, OH where I grew up is better. I also long to be closer to St. Gertrude, our parish, in Madeira. Then add in Ben's almost hour commute and I have 3 really good reasons for wanting to be there. But there's more: I have friends that live there and I am itching for more of the city life. I want culture, I want variety, I want something more to life than what I have. I want to drive a Zipcar and use public transit. I want to live in an even smaller place than what we have now LOL! Most importantly, I just want to fulfill the vision and dream Ben and I have had of living in the city. I think it would be awesome to live downtown, but until we hit the lottery, I don't see that happening haha. I'm not a party person, I just want to look out the window and see the people, as they stroll along to their job or take a drink of their coffee.
I think this idea of living in the city is rooted in a deeper longing to belong to the universal Church, and to God Himself. I want to be a part of that crowd following after Jesus! I want to play a part in what He's doing. I already am, but I kind of feel like it's a temporary part that I play on the weekends and then I go home, and take off my stage makeup. I want to be where I'm doing ministry all the time, be amongst the people, and know them. I want to be one of them. It kills me that every Sunday night after Core team meeting is over, we get back in the car and drive the 45 minutes home. My heart says to itself, "I died that day!"* when I wake up on Monday and it's back to the rest of the week.
And perhaps that's how I felt when I left my last ministry job...despite all of the things that were wrong about the situation and why I needed to leave. I just get so much joy out of being with the youth, teaching them, hanging out with them. I remember how I felt when I heard God call me to youth ministry and I was really unsure if I could do it. Part of me didn't want to, and then I had that feeling again when I failed Catechetics. I was just not cut out for this! However, when I'm away, I realize that I do not feel the joy that God gives me when I am immersed in ministry.
Which is why I told my dear friend Emma, who is one of my former youth group kids, that I wish I was back in ministry again. I miss it so much! I'd rather be doing that than working at the library, and if I didn't have to worry about money, I would do it for free. I'm still waiting on an offer from a parish who is willing to pay off my student loans in 2 years in exchange for youth ministry for 5 years. Or that's one scenario I have in my head LOL! I talk about student loans a lot because I have a ridiculous amount to pay each month. (And if you're thinking of getting student loans, do not go with Sallie Mae!) Such is life I guess.
Well, I'm going to go clip coupons and talk to my hubby Ben before bed. There's always so much to talk about on Sunday nights after we get home from youth group. I guess it begins the dream we have of doing ministry together and we can't seem to get God to stop calling us to it. Maybe that will be the next adventure...
* "I died that day!": a famous line of Buttercup's from Princess Bride that always rings in my head.
It's actually for the same library I have been working for, just a different branch, and I'll be full-time. So more hours, a bit farther away from home and a lot farther from where I want to be in Cincinnati, and no more $$ per hour. I'm excited because it will be more challenging than my current job, which I find kinda boring since I do not have any special duties like everyone else even though I have asked for more to do. It will be nice to be back at the Middletown location though because I know a lot of people there since I used to work there. I just wish Middletown was in Cincinnati, because that's where I really want to be.
The reason I want to be in Cincinnati is because I'm tired of living in Hamilton cut off from the world. How people live here happily, I do not know. It's too far from everything...even Trenton, OH where I grew up is better. I also long to be closer to St. Gertrude, our parish, in Madeira. Then add in Ben's almost hour commute and I have 3 really good reasons for wanting to be there. But there's more: I have friends that live there and I am itching for more of the city life. I want culture, I want variety, I want something more to life than what I have. I want to drive a Zipcar and use public transit. I want to live in an even smaller place than what we have now LOL! Most importantly, I just want to fulfill the vision and dream Ben and I have had of living in the city. I think it would be awesome to live downtown, but until we hit the lottery, I don't see that happening haha. I'm not a party person, I just want to look out the window and see the people, as they stroll along to their job or take a drink of their coffee.
I think this idea of living in the city is rooted in a deeper longing to belong to the universal Church, and to God Himself. I want to be a part of that crowd following after Jesus! I want to play a part in what He's doing. I already am, but I kind of feel like it's a temporary part that I play on the weekends and then I go home, and take off my stage makeup. I want to be where I'm doing ministry all the time, be amongst the people, and know them. I want to be one of them. It kills me that every Sunday night after Core team meeting is over, we get back in the car and drive the 45 minutes home. My heart says to itself, "I died that day!"* when I wake up on Monday and it's back to the rest of the week.
And perhaps that's how I felt when I left my last ministry job...despite all of the things that were wrong about the situation and why I needed to leave. I just get so much joy out of being with the youth, teaching them, hanging out with them. I remember how I felt when I heard God call me to youth ministry and I was really unsure if I could do it. Part of me didn't want to, and then I had that feeling again when I failed Catechetics. I was just not cut out for this! However, when I'm away, I realize that I do not feel the joy that God gives me when I am immersed in ministry.
Which is why I told my dear friend Emma, who is one of my former youth group kids, that I wish I was back in ministry again. I miss it so much! I'd rather be doing that than working at the library, and if I didn't have to worry about money, I would do it for free. I'm still waiting on an offer from a parish who is willing to pay off my student loans in 2 years in exchange for youth ministry for 5 years. Or that's one scenario I have in my head LOL! I talk about student loans a lot because I have a ridiculous amount to pay each month. (And if you're thinking of getting student loans, do not go with Sallie Mae!) Such is life I guess.
Well, I'm going to go clip coupons and talk to my hubby Ben before bed. There's always so much to talk about on Sunday nights after we get home from youth group. I guess it begins the dream we have of doing ministry together and we can't seem to get God to stop calling us to it. Maybe that will be the next adventure...
* "I died that day!": a famous line of Buttercup's from Princess Bride that always rings in my head.
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