After everything was done with Donnie, it was hard to accept. It was hard for my heart to realize that it was all gone. I wanted to fill the void in my life. My mom encouraged me to branch out and get my own place, so with my meager salary, I got a small apartment near the library.
For awhile, I tried to date different guys. I realized pretty quickly that I couldn't jump into a relationship in the same place I had been in with Donnie. I made some really stupid decisions and humiliated myself. During all this, I had been working full-time at the library. My friend Megan was trying to encourage me to take a better path. Unfortunately, I never did get the message about these unhealthy relationships until WAY later.
It was during this time that I read St. Therese's Story of a Soul. I desperately wanted to be like her and started finding the "little way" back to Jesus again. I was still volunteering on Core Team at church for our youth ministry too.
By the time a year had passed, I wanted to go back to school at Franciscan University. (I had left to get married, which never happened.) So with the encouragement of my Grandma Jean and my friend Mary, I reapplied and was accepted. I was so excited!
I left my job at the library, which many people told me I was crazy for doing. I just wanted to pursue ministry...which seems ironic because I wasn't living the Christ-life totally. I moved up to Steubenville and lived in a house off campus with 3 other girls. It was good for me to have community, but I was shy at first.
My friend Mary ushered me into household life at Franciscan. It was awesome! People loved on me, went to daily Mass with me, adoration, girly coffee dates. I experienced so much love and healing that first year back. That fall I intented to the Servants of the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus. I was still hurting, and when couples were all over campus, I cried out to Jesus. And He held me. I physically felt His touch, holding me in an embrace, and holding my hand. He was with me in Mass, He was with me at night when I felt alone. I could see how the Eucharist was nourishing my soul and bringing me into a relationship with Him. I had found my Beloved!
In February 2006, I was inducted into my household, Servants of the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus. I felt like I had gained a family. I had so much joy! I felt alive again. I had given up dating for 6 months and really felt like I was on track in all areas of my life. At the end of the year, my household informed me that they were making me their coordinator for the next school year. I was so humbled!
I felt like I had finally found my place. It may have been a broken Alleluia, but I was home.
For awhile, I tried to date different guys. I realized pretty quickly that I couldn't jump into a relationship in the same place I had been in with Donnie. I made some really stupid decisions and humiliated myself. During all this, I had been working full-time at the library. My friend Megan was trying to encourage me to take a better path. Unfortunately, I never did get the message about these unhealthy relationships until WAY later.
It was during this time that I read St. Therese's Story of a Soul. I desperately wanted to be like her and started finding the "little way" back to Jesus again. I was still volunteering on Core Team at church for our youth ministry too.
By the time a year had passed, I wanted to go back to school at Franciscan University. (I had left to get married, which never happened.) So with the encouragement of my Grandma Jean and my friend Mary, I reapplied and was accepted. I was so excited!
I left my job at the library, which many people told me I was crazy for doing. I just wanted to pursue ministry...which seems ironic because I wasn't living the Christ-life totally. I moved up to Steubenville and lived in a house off campus with 3 other girls. It was good for me to have community, but I was shy at first.
My friend Mary ushered me into household life at Franciscan. It was awesome! People loved on me, went to daily Mass with me, adoration, girly coffee dates. I experienced so much love and healing that first year back. That fall I intented to the Servants of the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus. I was still hurting, and when couples were all over campus, I cried out to Jesus. And He held me. I physically felt His touch, holding me in an embrace, and holding my hand. He was with me in Mass, He was with me at night when I felt alone. I could see how the Eucharist was nourishing my soul and bringing me into a relationship with Him. I had found my Beloved!
In February 2006, I was inducted into my household, Servants of the Eucharistic Heart of Jesus. I felt like I had gained a family. I had so much joy! I felt alive again. I had given up dating for 6 months and really felt like I was on track in all areas of my life. At the end of the year, my household informed me that they were making me their coordinator for the next school year. I was so humbled!
I felt like I had finally found my place. It may have been a broken Alleluia, but I was home.
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