My favorite memories from childhood include playing dress-up, tea parties at Grandma Jean's house, making different kinds of forts, mud pies, playing tag, catching lightning bugs, pink cows (Red pop with vanilla ice cream), swimming at Grandma Sharon's, showing dairy cows at the fair, hanging out with my cousins, being with my family, and holding my mom's soft hand. I'd love to share pictures, but everything is a hard copy from back then...and I don't feel like scanning every picture and cropping it LOL! Sorry!
Part 3
I'm going to take a step back into 4th grade for a moment and talk about the day my period started. It was September (12th). I hadn't even been 9 years old for a month and I discovered I started my period when I came home from school. Luckily it wasn't too bad. My mom had given me "the talk" in July and I was convinced because we talked about it, it had come. It was weird and I was like "whoa"...but really it was an indicator of so much more that I didn't realize at the time.
Since I hit puberty when I was 9, I was one of 2 girls that got it in 4th grade. So naturally a lot of girls came to me for advice. I went from nothing to a very large chest, and even though I wore t-shirts only, it attracted a lot of the wrong kind of attention. I felt very self-conscious and not pretty. I wished to be petite and small chested. Some girls and guys teased me. I had crushes on all of the popular guys, none of which returned the affection. All of this didn't fit very well with all of the insecurity I already felt about life. I felt like I had a lot of secrets.
Things started to change with my faith when my best friend Stacy took me to her non-denominational church with her in 5th grade. There were all these people who were interested in me there, and wanted to know how my relationship with God was. I really had no idea, so they had me get saved. When her brother Jesse extended his hand to pray over me, I thought he was giving me a high five. I was pretty unexperienced...LOL!
In 6-7th grade, I was a pretty hardcore tomboy. I wore jeans and t-shirts pretty exclusively, mostly tie-dyed t-shirts, sweatshirts, and flannel button ups, with sneakers. I would even sag my pants and wear boxer shorts. I wore Teen Spirit deodorant in some fruity scent, played club basketball, and tried out for jr. high school sports. The girls would ask me if my boobs were real in the locker room and I secretly wanted to punch them in the face. I tried hard to cover up what my body looked like. I think back about it now and cringe that I wore those things. But no one told me that I wasn't awkward, and although I would act like I was confident, inside I died a little each day. I desired to be desired, but struggled with who would want me...
When 7th grade finally rolled around, my English teacher had us write poems. What a sweet release! Apparently I had talent with words and it has always stayed with me. I spent a lot of time daydreaming and writing...and reading. I loved that class!
During this time, I thought a lot about who Jesus was, and why I would want to be "saved." I had already been saved, but I didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus. My friend Stacy read the Bible everyday, but I didn't know that had anything to do with a personal relationship. I thought it was something her mom told her to do. All I had was a tiny Precious Moments Bible, and it wasn't even the whole Bible. I didn't know who I could talk to about these things and asked Stacy a lot of questions.
I finally decided at the end of 7th grade that I wanted a youth group at my church, Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Church. Not sure why I wanted that, because I rarely went to Mass and didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus. I just knew that it was a great thing to have and we didn't have one. I approached my Grandma Jean and asked her to help me as she was the only other person I knew who went to church. She had also been asked by some people at church to take some teens to Steubenville, OH for the youth conference. That summer is when things started to radically change. My Grandma Jean was on fire with the Holy Spirit when she returned.
Part 3
I'm going to take a step back into 4th grade for a moment and talk about the day my period started. It was September (12th). I hadn't even been 9 years old for a month and I discovered I started my period when I came home from school. Luckily it wasn't too bad. My mom had given me "the talk" in July and I was convinced because we talked about it, it had come. It was weird and I was like "whoa"...but really it was an indicator of so much more that I didn't realize at the time.
Since I hit puberty when I was 9, I was one of 2 girls that got it in 4th grade. So naturally a lot of girls came to me for advice. I went from nothing to a very large chest, and even though I wore t-shirts only, it attracted a lot of the wrong kind of attention. I felt very self-conscious and not pretty. I wished to be petite and small chested. Some girls and guys teased me. I had crushes on all of the popular guys, none of which returned the affection. All of this didn't fit very well with all of the insecurity I already felt about life. I felt like I had a lot of secrets.
Things started to change with my faith when my best friend Stacy took me to her non-denominational church with her in 5th grade. There were all these people who were interested in me there, and wanted to know how my relationship with God was. I really had no idea, so they had me get saved. When her brother Jesse extended his hand to pray over me, I thought he was giving me a high five. I was pretty unexperienced...LOL!
In 6-7th grade, I was a pretty hardcore tomboy. I wore jeans and t-shirts pretty exclusively, mostly tie-dyed t-shirts, sweatshirts, and flannel button ups, with sneakers. I would even sag my pants and wear boxer shorts. I wore Teen Spirit deodorant in some fruity scent, played club basketball, and tried out for jr. high school sports. The girls would ask me if my boobs were real in the locker room and I secretly wanted to punch them in the face. I tried hard to cover up what my body looked like. I think back about it now and cringe that I wore those things. But no one told me that I wasn't awkward, and although I would act like I was confident, inside I died a little each day. I desired to be desired, but struggled with who would want me...
When 7th grade finally rolled around, my English teacher had us write poems. What a sweet release! Apparently I had talent with words and it has always stayed with me. I spent a lot of time daydreaming and writing...and reading. I loved that class!
During this time, I thought a lot about who Jesus was, and why I would want to be "saved." I had already been saved, but I didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus. My friend Stacy read the Bible everyday, but I didn't know that had anything to do with a personal relationship. I thought it was something her mom told her to do. All I had was a tiny Precious Moments Bible, and it wasn't even the whole Bible. I didn't know who I could talk to about these things and asked Stacy a lot of questions.
I finally decided at the end of 7th grade that I wanted a youth group at my church, Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Church. Not sure why I wanted that, because I rarely went to Mass and didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus. I just knew that it was a great thing to have and we didn't have one. I approached my Grandma Jean and asked her to help me as she was the only other person I knew who went to church. She had also been asked by some people at church to take some teens to Steubenville, OH for the youth conference. That summer is when things started to radically change. My Grandma Jean was on fire with the Holy Spirit when she returned.
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